My Mr. Amazing.

Recently I have driven myself insane obsessing over David. I think it became more of a ritual and a need to feel like someone cared than anything else. David is one of my best friends...but that's what he will always be to me...a friend.

I have been praying for months that God would forgive me for a stupid mistake that happened in February. I compromised my beliefs and it felt like He could never let me forgive myself for it. All I wanted was a sign that things would be ok.

September 10th, 2009, at about 8:00pm I got the answer to my prayers. My friend Dean and I have been talking nonstop for the past week or so and that wonderful boy asked me out about that time. I dropped my "no-dating-until-I'm-20" pledge...and for good reason.

Dean is one of the most amazing people I know. We met through a mutual friend completely by chance a couple years ago at the mall. A couple months after this, Missy had a party and I ran into Dean there as well. We talked once in a blue moon over these past years, but recently became extremely close. There was no rhyme or reason for it. It just happened that way.

He is the strongest person I have ever known. He has been through so much and he continues to have a positive outlook on life. Dean is studying to be a youth pastor which I have so much respect for. He is my soldier. He makes me feel so alive. I know not what the future has in store, but I can honestly say I think Dean will be in my life for a very long time.

I have so much in common with this man it's almost spooky. We understand each other and help each other work through our problems. He is the only person I can talk to on the phone for more than half an hour (we reach an entire two and a half hours.)

Dean knows how to make me smile no matter what. My life has been so crazy lately, and no matter how hectic things become, Dean is always right there to make me feel better. He always has the perfect words to say. He makes me dance every day.

I haven't seen my wonderful boy in over two years. On Tuesday, I get to see him for the first time since just about everything has happened. For the first time, I am excited for my parents to meet somebody, and I am just as excited to meet his family. My whole heart has changed since Dean came back into my life...

God is so good.

Rnadom thought of the day: I <3 a elly-fant sticky from da dock-ter.