And so my journey begins...

Well, I'm here. And?

I realized something. My life...it's just about to start.

My name is Katie. I'm 17 years old. And after 17 years of coasting through life I'm ready to begin the journey I never really started. I was thrown onto this planet as the lawn gnome for another person's life. Until now I never learned to lead my own life. As a small child I was part of my parents' lives. When I got old enough to want to go places, I strove to be part of my brothers' lives. I desired the freedom they had. As a teenager, I've been part of the lives of my friends. My own life never existed. If I wasn't out doing something (and until almost a year ago, I wasn't) I was cooped up in my room, or glued to the computer, as I am now.

When people say get a life, you roll your eyes. But now I understand, and I'm about to.

Two weeks from now will mark the start of my senior year of high school. I'm ready to become my own person. Some of my friends that are also heading into their senior year are already adults. They are a full year older than me, and they've started to shape their lives. I could make the excuse that I'll start becoming my own person when I turn 18. But I won't. I'm at the same point in my life as they are, and I need to individualize myself.

As a kid, I was always considered mature for my age. "Far ahead of her grade level," my teachers would say. A few teachers described me as a genius. It was never true though. My brothers were born a decade before I was. They helped me get an early start at reading and writing and doing math. Despite the fact that I began as a quick learner, when my teachers suggested I skip a grade, my parents knew better. I stayed at the grade I was in. After all, I am one of the youngest in my class, and they knew it would catch up. Sure enough, once I transferred out of my small town school and into a better one, my schoolwork was considered average.

Socially, I suppose I'm average as well. I rely heavily on the opinions of my friends rather than forming opinions of my own. I don't really fit into any category. I love theatre, but I don't really fit any of the typical theatre kid molds either. I'm not rich. I'm not poor. I try to get along with everyone. If you don't like me then I generally won't like you. I can be totally out there and insane. I can be crazy mellow. My personality changes every day.

So I need to pick where my life is actually going to go. I need to get a job. I need to get my license. I need to start applying for colleges.

Step One:
I'm going to take control of my academic life.
I plan on keeping up with my usual activities. I participate in the school Knowledge Bowl team and I'm an active member of thespian troupe 699. My goal this year is to stop slacking off. I'm going to actually do my homework while keeping up with KB and drama. I'm going to get good grades and study and pay attention in class. I'm going to actually ask my teachers for help when I need it and stop procrastinating.
I'm also going to start applying to colleges. First choice, CWU. I want to major in English and minor in either performance theatre or photography. I'll make that decision when I get there. Right now I would be happy with either.

Step Two:
I'm going to fix my life as a Christian.
My friend Amy recently invited me to go to VBS at her church with her. To my surprise I enjoyed it. I've made the decision to continue going to church with her sometimes on Wednesday nights. I don't agree with all of their views and I believe that you don't have to go to church every Sunday to be a Christian. I don't mind going on Wednesday nights because I don't have to worry about making sure somebody wakes me up and I generally need my rest after a full week of school, Knowledge Bowl, and theatre. I go to an amazing family church camp every summer and it is my favorite place on Earth. I met three of my best friends there and they are the reason I smile. This summer I attended CreationFest NW for the first time and had a blast. I met up with an old friend there and he helped to straighten out my life. I plan to continue attending that as well. I know I mess up a lot, and sometimes I feel like life treats me like crap, but when I think about it, God has been pretty good to me, and I think He deserves to have the favor returned.

Step Three:
Maintain my friendships and family life. I feel like I've finally begun repairs on all my broken friendships. My friends and family mean everything to me. They might drive me nuts, but I love them. I know I get busy with theatre and everything else going on in my life and sometimes I forget to keep in touch but I want to remember who is important to me.

So this is where I'm going this year. I'm going to stop being afraid of everything and finally start living. And I'm going to go nuts and dress like I'm from the 80s as often as possible this year. Your senior year is meant for memories right? I'm going to live it up :)

Random thought of the day: If you were an upsidedown catfish, I'd love you rightsideup.